We, women, specially in STEM and technology careers are struggling to bring forward our achievements and successes. And we suffer for impostor syndrome very frequently.
Truth is, having worked in the digital business for 15 years, I have come to realize women are not, on average, totally aware of their (our) worth, the skills and talents that we have and leverage them in assertive ways.
I have mentored, coached and taught more than 200 women in all these years, through different initiatives, from APG and Laboratoria in Mexico to “I am Remarkable”, Latinas in Tech and Promociona, Eje&Con now in Spain. I don’t have the truth in my hands, but actually have had many failures and successes, and tons of curiosity about what research says about how we, women, manage our talents and goals. The awesome Brene Brown (I strongly recommend her books) has said that to lead and put our goals out there requires bravery and vulnerability. As one of her greatest books is titled, we have to dare to lead.
I want to share here 3 ideas for women in tech, STEAM or any field, students or executives, that might trigger some new reflections.
1. Get curious and dig into the research.
There are many solid and respected sources providing interesting studies. I am only picking a few here. The relevance of this data is that it can open your mind and help you take responsibility for what is in your control to manage or change – not everything, of course; we will talk about this later
Catalyst concluded a decade ago that women that are able to put in value their achievements are more likely to get a salary increase. No kidding! Of course. To add even more fun, Psychology of Women Quarterly studied that when women portray “male-like styles” (this would need further discussion, what is a male style?) to acknowledge and communicate their achievements, they could be perceived as aggressive or very (very?) straightforward.
Harvard Business Review has done a great job on focusing on this matter. Listen: according to one of their studies “Why Don’t Women Self-Promote As Much As Men?” Good question, thanks men tend to assess their performance 33% better than women, because there seems to be a rooted belief in the female brain: “nothing is enough”. Paradoxically, in another study HBR says “Women Score Higher Than Men in Most Leadership Skills”. Let’s say it is equal, the issue is we believe it’s never as good as it should be.
2. Work on yourself and for yourself.
Check. Reflect. Ask. Hire a coach. Look for a mentor. Think: Am I proud of my achievements? Do I believe I can and must be able to share them in an assertive manner? Have I noticed any belief related with ideas such as “it’s not that great”, “it’s never enough”, “what am I doing in this role”, “HR made a mistake”.
If you happen to stumble upon the Strengths-based leadership study, from Gallup research or the VIA Institute of Character work as I did while getting my coach certification, I am sure it will blow your mind as it did with mine. Up until I studied this field, I was convinced that my life’s quest was to work on my flaws and make them disappear. Exhausting. On the contrary, the strength based mindset shows us through research, how it is much more effective to know our strengths (through the Gallup or VIA tests, peers and manager’s feedback and the like), truly understand them and leverage our career upon those gifts.
We have the duty of at least getting to know our strengths deeply, because that will shed light on our goals and will help build confidence in our achievements. On this matter, I like the Women Confidence Report, sponsored by IT cosmetic -their CC cream is amazing by the way!
Two findings are key. Our confidence is not a single or simple personality trait rather than a skill based on 14 different sources, such as intellect, intuition or calling. And…overall women’s confidence is low (we might discuss: compared to which standards?).
3. Pay it forward.
If you are in the path of self-discovery about what makes you thrive and shine, share it with other women (and men of course), become a mentor for younger female talents, and work with your team or peers. Dare to lead. Working together, learning and evolution can get exponentially higher
I have witnessed this directly, through my involvement as a mentor in several initiatives I shared earlier, and specially through the “I am Remarkable”. program and workshops from Google. It’s a kind of magic. No matter which field, industry or seniority level, it always happens: we realize together that it is hard to identify and communicate our achievements and we reflect together on why and how we can grow from that insight.
Through all these reflections, still Work In Progress, today I understand it’s great to be ambitious and to want more, but also, have learned to look at my half-year performance review and think, well, I have done a lot, good job, and take a moment (a day, a weekend, a week in Greece, you name it) to acknowledge and celebrate.
This doesn’t mean I don’t see my opportunity areas, or that I am closed to feedback. Moreover, I can make better use of observations related to my performance at work for instance, because I know that I am already great and I can only get better.
So, get out there and be vocal, connect, share and leverage other women’s talents and triumphs.
These 3 ideas are not alien to the fact that legislation and social and cultural frames need to evolve. The much needed transformation is not 100% in our hands, but let’s take 100% responsibility about what we can control: our knowledge, our self-discovery and our connection with others.
At the end, you, me, all of us are worth it. Worth the effort, worth the work, worth the change, and worth the recognition.
Have other thoughts? Do you think my self-esteem is on steroids? Happy to discuss more: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianahernandez
